Have you ever noticed that when you’ve had a bad day, or get into a slump of hopelessness, you fail to notice the good around you? The balance is off and you’re focusing on what’s wrong rather than on what’s right.
I get into this rut, and for me it tends to go hand-in-hand with being over-tired and world weary. Today has been one of those days; even though it was thankfully one of my days off. I slept late and still woke up very tired; I tried cleaning up the living room, but soon got very weary of crawling around on my bruised knees and maneuvering on crutches while trying to carry things to other rooms. I felt depressed that all I accomplished today was clean the toilet, set up my Easter decorations, feed myself, and make my lunch for tomorrow. In addition, the incisions on my foot got an infection this week, so I’ve been focused on them…monitoring them, and nursing them back to health.
Then I remembered that a wonderful way to lift myself from a rut is to focus on the things that are good and right in this moment. A few years ago during a particularly difficult period of my life when I’d just lost my best friend — my soul sister — in a car accident, I kept a ‘gratitude journal’. Each and every day during that horrible time, I would open my journal before bed and write down three things I was thankful for. Focusing on the things that were right and beautiful and good during that time really helped me cope. Even though the pain was searing and my own will to live was hitting rock bottom, I could still focus on things that I was grateful for each day, and that alone would uplift me.
I would definitely suggest starting a gratitude journal. At the end of each day, write just three things about the day that you were thankful for. It won’t be everything that you’re grateful for in that day; just three things. It’s a simple exercise, and doesn’t take much time at all. But what it does is shift your mindset, lift you up, and you smile inside when you remember those things that were good that day. Some days you’ll struggle to come up with three, other days you’ll have a hard time choosing which three to write down. But do it every day, and you’ll notice yourself focusing more and more on the good and right. I’ve just started a new gratitude journal today, after a long period of not keeping one; it feels really good to have begun that ritual again. 🙂
I really need to start this up again too. It makes such a difference on my outlook, and right now I am not getting my way in life. Better to be grateful than a baby about it. Thanks for reminding me.
So true to be thankful just for each day. I lost my oldest son on a beautiful June day many years ago right before he was to be married. People kept asking me what I was going to do. I had planted my usual garden in our small backyard, and I said “I’m going to go to work as usual but before I do, I’m going to see what’s doin’ in the garden a lot more.”
There was something especially therapeutic about the garden that year. Herbs smelled so good, vegetables grew bigger and tasted better and the flowers kept reminding me of many memories over the years. The loss was agonizing but I found spending more time in the garden was healing. Some years later I lost my other son to a prolonged & painful illness, and again friends kept asking what I was going to do. By that time I had retired early to take care of him but again, I sought solace & comfort in the garden when he was gone. Even today though my gardening is limited, there is such a healing when I go see “what’s doin’ in the garden”. My grandmother had said that each morning when I was a young child and she had had many losses. Now I know why.
That is such a good suggestion and seems simple enough to keep it up. I’m going to do it, too. Thank you for that idea!
Oh Jeanette, I can’t believe you lost both your sons; that must have been horrendous pain. I can’t imagine. 🙁 And like you, I felt that after Sonja died, my garden was my solace…my connection to life and growth and…the opposite of death! My vegetable garden was SO healing that year. Thanks for sharing….