Kitchen / Garden / Sanctuary - Urban Homesteading to Nourish Body + Spirit

Category: Thoughts + Inspiration (Page 2 of 18)

In Loving Memory of Our Precious Liz

 ♥ Liz ♥

July 18, 2000 – May 14, 2018

This is a hard post to write.

It is with such deep sadness that I tell you that we lost our precious little Liz to an aggressive oral squamous cell cancer (a mass under her tongue) on May 14th. She would have turned 18 on July 18th, 2018.

My precious girl, my precious Liz…my guardian angel physically watching over me for almost 18 years…she was that once-in-a-lifetime cat. Not just a cat, but her own person. A highly evolved heavenly being, she loved me with unflagging loyalty and dedication until literally the very last moment of her life. The amount of unconditional love this precious being could give was staggering. I will be forever indebted to her.

She was of pure intent, with none of the aloofness or air of ulterior motive that cats can have. She was absolutely nothing but sweetness. So, so dear and sweet.

♥♥♥

I hate that this cancer took her away. And the rest of her body was still in good shape… I feel that she still had good, solid years left in her.

The upside to this was that her body supported her right up to the end. She maintained her weight, she maintained her spunky spirit, and she was able to be herself and do the things she loved to do. She was a happy cat and she kept having great quality of life right up until the last week or two when things really got real.

In late February she lost the ability to eat by mouth due to the tumor. But she was still so robust and otherwise completely her normal everyday self that we elected to have the veterinary oncologist place a feeding tube — like a little port in her neck, protected by an adorable white padded collar — which was a great solution and Liz adapted to it, no problemo. I continued to bake chickens for her and cook 12-hour chicken bone broth, which I would puree for her in my Nutribullet blender along with her Balance-It vitamin supplement, various other supplements, Chinese medicine, homeopathic remedies, my own flower remedies, as well as some wet food (either Newman’s Own or the Science Diet a/d Urgent Care that the vet gave us.) I was so grateful for that feeding tube!! Being able to continue to nourish Liz gave us three more priceless months with her, and I hold the memory of that sweet time dearly to my heart. We got to simply be together for as long as we possibly could.

The chemotherapies we gave her (oral Palladia at first, then IV Carboplatin) both worked for a little while but then stopped working. Liz and I elected not to do palliative radiation sessions because of the low success rate combined with the fact that she’d need to be sedated each time.

Lizzie didn’t want to be euthanized, so we were together right till the very end, surrounded by all the comforting familiarity of our childhood home where we grew up together. She fought literally to her last breath, but the cancer finally just got her, and took her.

Even on her last day on Earth, we were outside together enjoying the fragrant spring air, sunshine, and lilac blossoms in the peaceful, familiar backyard. Her beloved yard! Her last few days were tough and rough, no doubt. What I found interesting was that even through this, and right up till the very end, her tail continued to do its usual light tapping “all is well” sign. She also tried to reassure me as best she could, with her special noises, purring, and nuzzling me. Her last day was really hard. It was a struggle, and she could no longer purr, but her tail continued to lightly tap, and she made deep eye contact with me for reassurance. That was a hard, scary day. My wish for her was that she could cross the rainbow bridge peacefully in her sleep, but alas it was not to be. I’m just glad we were together in familiar surroundings, not in the hospital, no strangers around… just us two together, staring death in the face, being brave for each other, and cherishing every last possible second together. ♥

Liz was an extraordinary cat; a very special being — she really was a guardian angel to me — and she brought me such joy and unwavering love and truly constant support over the almost 18 years she was with me. I am lost without her. I don’t know how to express how much I desperately miss her. We were so close that we were practically one in the same. And you can surely bet that I am grateful for each and every one of the probably thousands and thousands of photos I’ve taken of her over the years. And even more for the videos. I wish I had more videos.

Precious Lizzie we miss you.

♥♥♥

There are so many pictures of her that I love. But here are just a few.

Baby Liz. She showed up one Friday morning at our back doorstep, and we took her on our camping trip to the mountains the next day!:

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The rest are from just this year — in her last 4 months on the Earth:

For some reason she loved celery and celery seeds almost as much as she loved catnip. One morning I found my bucket of homegrown celery seeds like this! I wonder who did it!?!

Making chicken for her!:

Taken the afternoon of May 14th… I was so worried about her, and at the same time cherishing every second with her. This was one of her favorite mouse-watching spots:

♥♥♥

Need a Christmas gift? My Mandala Coloring Book is out!

I just released my new hand-illustrated coloring book, Mandala Dreaming.

Take a look; the mandalas are so much fun to color!

And, it makes a great Christmas gift!

(Order by 10:30am MST, on Saturday Dec 20th to receive by the 24th with standard shipping. But they’ll remain for sale beyond that, of course, if you don’t happen to need one for Christmas…)

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Coloring is a low-tech, creative activity that has been enjoyed for generations. It’s not just for children, although of course it is wonderful for them too!

Coloring has grown up, as you’ll discover in this beautifully hand-illustrated coloring book.

The 20 intricate mandalas contained within are just waiting for you to allow yourself the luxury — nay, the necessity — of a bit of quiet time for yourself… to play creatively with color… to allow your deep-down spirit to come alive.

These high-quality coloring books are handmade, one by one, in my Colorado studio. The pages are thick 110-lb (199 g/m²), acid-free, 8.5″ x 11″ cardstock, perforated for easy removal, and the mandalas are printed on the front side only of each page. The book is spiral-bound so you can fold it back completely for ease of coloring.

Enjoyed most by Adults, Teens, or Older kids because the designs are a little more complex.

Use markers, crayons, colored pencils, watercolor pencils, and even actual watercolors! (For watercolors, tear out page and tape corners to a board.)

One of my favorite ways is to color with art markers first (Prismacolor brand is very nice, but there are others), and then add highlights and depth with colored pencils on top of the marker.

These really are fun to color!

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$14.95

BUY NOW

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Color and display!

Color and display!

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The back cover

Mandala (c) The Herbangardener

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Mandala (c) The Herbangardener

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*****

The Everyday

How are you all? I feel like I’ve been in a cave — not much for correspondence lately, and just kind of lost in my own little world.

The weather around here has been cold and snowy, with a ridiculous 8° low one night — maddeningly unnecessary at this time of year. It killed our peach blossoms, and I really wish I’d picked the hyacinth flowers before that cold snap; what was I thinking?! I wait all year long for one of my favorite scents in the entire world, and then allow it to slip through my fingers. Argh! It made me really sad actually, and mad. We work so hard at not letting the big stuff get to us, that sometimes it’s the little stuff that does!

The cold snap did throw in a little precipitation as a consolation prize, so it wasn’t all bad. We really need the moisture.

It’s been quiet around here. Lots of reading and learning, working on projects, plus some good ol’ resting. Lots of resting. (Not always what this do-er wants to do, I’ll tell you!)

I finally sat down and did taxes and 3 hours into it, thought, Well no wonder I was putting this off. Sustained by Rescue Remedy, so many cups of tea that I think I set a personal record if not an Olympic one, and a few moments of “tearful release” shall we say, I did finally get them figured out and mailed off.

And you can bet there was a ceremonious tearing-up of the tax booklet into the compost. Afterwards I felt very satisfied, but awoke a few mornings later wondering if I really wanted Tax Booklet Energy in my compost pile. Coincidentally, later the same day F mentioned the torn-up booklet too, wondering if it was wise to have all that Federal Government Ink decomposing in our garden soil.

I’m gonna go fish those booklet scraps back out…

***

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And I wish I had taken a picture for you of the royal mess I made in the kitchen. I was making soaked almond milk in the blender when the screw-on blade base inexplicably unscrewed itself while the motor was running. I know — what the?? Before I could comprehend what was happening, five cups of watery almond goop ran all over the counter, down the cabinets, splattered onto the side of the fridge, and pooled on the floor. I’m sure that you, too, have looked a mess in the eye and thought, “I don’t want to do this.”

I threw the blender into the garbage. I had never liked it anyway.

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I also have a cactus fiber in my heel. For a weeks’ worth of days and nights it has throbbed at me and yet I run my finger obsessively over the area and find nothing — the rest of it long gone, of course.

Which just now reminds me of a quote I saw recently, “If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too-tight shoes.”

I’m not even sure where I planning to go with this… probably nowhere good, so let me go ahead and stop here.

***

What else is happening? Well everything in the garden has sprouted! Maybe it’s the skeptic in me, but every single year I plant seeds, I’m always surprised when they actually sprout. It is such a miracle.

Also…twin daffodils, squirrels, making a flower essence, before-and-sadly-after hyacinth, my happy flat of tomato and pepper seedlings, redbud branches and glory-of-the-snow flowers in the house, and cats waiting patiently for dinner.

*****

Retreat

Last weekend I had a wonderful retreat.

My folks were headed to the mountains for the weekend and my kitty and I went along with them. I didn’t realize how much I needed that dose of nature. My heart has been heavy lately with worry and too much of the ‘big stuff’ on my mind, and getting out of my usual daily pattern and having a fun little vacation really lifted me up. We all had a wonderful time!!

Kiss the kitteh!

These icicles were bent. Weird!

One day it snowed. It’s a shame I was too lazy to go outside and get a proper picture of this enchanted forest at dawn in the snowfall. Instead I took the photo through the window screen. Ug. Next time!

***

What have you all been up to lately??

*****

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