Category: Thoughts + Inspiration (Page 4 of 18)

Quiet winter moments

January 16, 2013 / Lindsey / 4 Comments

Happy Solstice, Happy Winter, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!

I hope you’ve all been well. Did you have a nice holiday season?

It’s been a nice few weeks here. Working hard to get my handmade gifts ready, lots of nice Christmas music (Kohala Christmas is a favorite at our place), multiple trips to the local thrift shop to search out wool sweaters — both to wear and to felt for projects — and then after Christmas some nice down time. Getting ready for Christmas I pushed my body further than I ought to have (I was feeling so good!), and timing being what it is, I crashed on Christmas Eve. So most of Christmas Day was spent on my parents’ apartment floor by the tree, pressing my head to a package of frozen lunch meat to try to calm a horrendous headache. Around five I was feeling a little better, and we opened gifts in the twilight (instead of in the morning) next to the glowing tree — which ended being so enchanting that I think we’ve started a new tradition!

And now the New Year feels like a nice clean slate. Since I have survived (which was a question mark in my mind for some time), and am now healing from, the awful disease that is Brucellosis, I’m beginning to think about what’s next in terms of career and life direction and moneymaking endeavors. Those thoughts are exciting and I have so many ideas, but they can be very overwhelming too, on days when the “what’s next” feels far away and out of reach. As I’m learning, it takes quite a while to rebuild a body so completely exhausted and depleted by nineteen months of unchecked infection and then a further ten months of strong antibiotic treatment. I am feeling SOOO much better. But the rebuilding part does take time. Actually I have to keep reminding myself of this — the big picture of what my body has been handling — because my mind gets easily carried away with activities and cool ideas and thoughts of the future and what I need to be doing to get myself there. But then my body yanks on the choke chain, reminding me that getting back to my old self is not instantaneous and everything will happen in good time (as in “not all at once at this very moment“).

So I’ve been keeping a slower, simpler, more realistic pace when possible. You know how if you work really really hard at your job, and it’s really intense work, and there’s lots of stress, and you don’t have any downtime…how you burn out quickly? Well that’s what happens in life too, I’ve realized. Especially with the pace at which our world moves now. Even though I’m just in my 20s, I feel like I’ve lived several lifetimes already. So much stuff has been packed in. Some of it really fun, some of it really not fun. And when you pack that much in, you get worn out and you start burning out. And if you’re very sensitive (any fellow HSPs out there?) you can get overwhelmed and burnt out even more easily due to the sheer intensity of it all. Being very ill is an intense experience. It taxes you physically, mentally, and emotionally. And so what I’m learning again and again is that I can’t get ahead of myself. Even if I have a million cool ideas I want to follow through with, I have to dial it back and pace myself otherwise I will burn out totally. First things first. My first priority must remain my health. (Health really IS wealth. If you don’t have your health, you have no energy to earn monetary wealth!) When I’m frustrated and tired of that being my #1 priority, I remind myself that it’s an investment in my future. I must get fully well NOW, so that I may be who I want to be and do the things I want to do in the future. If I don’t address the physical things that need attending to right now, and let my body fully heal, then things could be a little dicey down the road. Best to address it now.

So I’ve been staying quiet, moving (when I remember to) at a slow and deliberate pace. Doing one thing at a time (like drinking tea and doing nothing else during that time), and taking the time to do things that make my spirit happy. My appetite for anything techie has been minimal, so my computer has been off a lot. It’s been nice. I’ve enjoyed keeping more of a “1972 pace” rather than a “2013 pace” if that makes any sense.

And now, onto some pictures…

*****

Waiting

September 19, 2012 / Lindsey / 4 Comments

The energies must really be flying; have you felt the intensity? I’ve had a rough time of it lately; “severely distressed” would not be understating it. I feel awfully uneasy when I begin brushing against the outermost edge of my sanity, feeling trapped on all sides by that which feels utterly hopeless, questions I don’t have answers to, have-to’s I don’t want to face, and complex decisions that need to be made which will have very real ramifications now and in the future.

But it’s a solitary experience that one can only resolve for oneself; nobody else can, or should, do it for you. So outwardly, while I quietly peel apples at the table, inside I feel blown apart amidst the deafening maelstrom.

And my poor Honey, too, is mucking through much, and we both walk around with furrowed brows, preoccupied with what weighs so heavily upon each of us.

Such intensity right now.

***

At times it feels like the most that I can muster is to just wait. Wait, and hope that it please just starts feeling lighter.

So whenever I can, I insert into my day that which is as light and life-affirming as possible.

I make applesauce from the apples off our tree. I have tea. I sit outside and put my face in the sun. I go barefoot. I read fluffy magazines (because that’s all I really feel like doing right now anyway, cause I’ve just about been done in otherwise). I cook cool things in my solar oven. I sing to my kitty-cat and attune myself to her zen-like vibe. I hug F, and hug him again. I sit by the garden in the long shadows of the evening.

And slowly, I work through these decisions — pairing purposeful action with sitting peacefully within the unknowing (still practicing), and at the end of the day, simply hoping it’ll all turn out okay.

Slowly, the world feels a tad lighter.

And then the next day, maybe even a little lighter still.

***

Calendula

Solar-powered sun jar

A cup of tea, thoroughly enjoyed.

Apple peeling

Applesauce through food mill, (c) The Herbangardener

Applesauce making

The mice are active in prep for autumn, so Liz too has been active.

Waiting for mice

She caught a moth here near the light, and is waiting in case of another one.

*****

From Nature With Love

September 6, 2012 / Lindsey / 3 Comments

***

Fresh from our garden. Luscious!!!

*****

Philosophy Friday: The Most Valuable Thing You’ll Ever Own

August 17, 2012 / Lindsey / 6 Comments

Yesterday I was telling you about the resting day I had. How often we all need these rest days and don’t take them! What if, when our bodies insisted on them, we actually rearranged our schedule to accommodate?

What if we treated our bodies as if they were the most valuable thing we will ever own? Because, they are!

I think our culture is too mind centered. We think we can heal our bodies with our minds, while simultaneously disrespecting them and driving them into the ground by continuing the frantic pace we set for ourselves. Positivity of thought is part of it, but I believe it’s not the only part; if we just give it a minute, our bodies can heal themselves in near-miraculous ways, without any mental intervention at all. Sleep, as I’ve discovered over and over and over through my life, is the Number One Healer. When we have the flu, we don’t get rid of it by repeating “I’m totally healthy! Totally healthy!” whilst ignoring our body and maintaining our frenzy even though we feel awful. No. We get rid of it by going to bed and sleeping and letting our body do its thing.

Let’s respect our bodies and work with them. They’re not pitted against us. They love us. We just have to learn to listen and heed their message better, I think. They’ll tell us what we need to do. We have to shut off our brains and listen, though!

***

That rest day I took felt so wonderful. To not struggle against my tiredness was a relief. I’m naturally a doer… I don’t sit still very long before I pop back up and am doing something again. There’s so much I love to do and am interested in, that I find it very hard to rest! — partly because resting can feel boring. So if you don’t want to sleep, you might look through a fun magazine (Sunset, Coastal Living, Martha Stewart Living, and Mother Earth News are all faves of mine). Or draw. Or sit on your front porch and watch the world go by. Or read. Or listen to music. Or load an audio book onto your MP3 player if you’re too tired to read. Or close your eyes and just think, and allow your mind to go wherever it wants to (I’m a big fan of this one; maybe that’s a post for another day).

I’m still learning. It can be a tricky mental shift to tune in and work with my body instead of ignoring it in favor of the activities my mind wants to do.

Are you still learning, too?

What are some of your favorite restful activities?

***

*****

A Resting Day

August 16, 2012 / Lindsey / 1 Comment

My plans for yesterday involved the doing of many things needing to be done, but the day unfolded on its own into something so much different — nicer and more appropriate for this moment in time. I woke up awfully tired, so instead of going back to bed, I transferred outside to the front porch with a blanket to rest in the cool morning air with some nettles tea. And as it ended up, nearly the whole day was spent lounging on the porch. What a shift from my usual! And how delicious to just let go and allow myself the time to rest.

I’m feeling quite good but I still tire easily, and my antibiotics do contribute to that (they contribute nausea too). I’d overdone it the day before (and the day before that, and I’m sure the day before that, too), and my body was forcefully insisting on a rest. I’d been needing to get some moneymaking work done, but it just wasn’t happening and I couldn’t focus. So instead of struggling, I gave in and decided it would not be a work day, but an all-around rest day.

I savored being in the lounge chair, hearing the morning begin — finches singing, clinking dishes from a neighbor’s open kitchen window, the whir of a lawnmower, blue jays calling in the distance, a dad jogging by with a stroller, a car passing now and then.

How peaceful.

And then later in the afternoon when I was feeling more alive, I packed up a picnic of nausea-friendly foods and met my parents at an outdoor venue for a little concert that was happening. After treating my body to a whole day of nurturance, I treated my spirit too.

Homemade Arnold Palmer, cucumbers and vinegar, peaches, and pasta with tomatoes and basil.

What a gift to give oneself!

I did nothing that was on my list, but who cares anyway because it was a very-much-needed pause.

I hope you’re able to do the same for yourself, to rest outside in the summer air, and to take a picnic to a local outdoor concert. Do! While it’s still summer!

I hope you’ve been enjoying your week~

*****