Tag: philosophy friday (Page 5 of 7)

This past weekend, Hubby and I were in line at the deli of an upscale gourmet food market in the city where we live. I was tired and not feeling well, my feet were screaming, I wanted to go home, and our order was taking forever.

While standing there, I began to look around me at all the expensive food items, for the first time seeing the complete picture of city life, brought into crystal-clear focus at this little market.

The meat we were in line for…we could have hunted that. The beautiful selection of mushrooms…we could have grown those, or gathered them. The cilantro in our basket…it could have come from our garden. The pricey sushi-grade fish we purchased…we could have caught that ourselves.

And so it is with cities. They’re artificial. Some folks thrive on the city lifestyle — and more power to ’em!

Here in the city… We wake before we’re rested. Trudge to work day after day after day. So that we may sit in a tiny cubicle and stare at a computer. Wasting our precious life force on things we care nothing about. We come home stressed and exhausted. All to make money. Money, so that we can afford to live in the city so that we can be close to the jobs we need in order to make money. Money, so that we can afford to buy the food we aren’t growing ourselves because we’re too busy working, and because we live in the city and have no land.

See what a circle it is?

It’s self-sustaining. Vicious, indeed!

And so how do you get off the merry-go-round if you were born into it? If your family no longer owns land?

The cruel answer is…with money!

You hunker down, trudge to the job, and live below your means. Get a cheaper apartment. Get rid of your car. Visit the library instead of the bookstore. Eat out less. Kick the Starbucks habit.

All the while, stuffing as much money into your savings account as you can. And then, decide when you’ve saved up enough. Don’t keep saving and saving till you’re dead! When you’ve reached “enough,” quit your job and buy some land — with cash; no debts, no banks. Someplace where you can hunt and fish and garden and forage. Live in a temporary shelter and build a house if there isn’t one there already. With your neighbors, trade the goods and services that you have for the goods and services that you need. Follow your passions…create things…and chances are, you’ll earn the little money you need from those soulful pursuits alone.

And you’re free! You’ve broken the cycle that dates back to the Industrial Revolution, when our ancestors left the land and came to the city.

And you’ve created a new self-sustaining circle that’s healthier, happier, freer…lighter.

You were the maverick! You broke away! So pass that land onto your children; tell them not to sell it, but to pass it down to their children, and on down the generations. Show them by example how being self-sufficient on their own land is the key to their freedom!

If we were to look at our lives on paper, they might well glitter — at least by societal standards. Looking at our resumes, we’re proud of the outward things we’ve accomplished: the jobs we’ve mastered, the roles we’re been valued for, the amount of money we bring in each month.

But we must also consider the reality of our hearts. We may look pretty accomplished on paper, but what’s the feeling behind all that? Is it true joy? Did you love doing all that stuff? Do you love what you’re doing now? Or was it stuff you did because of the influence of someone or something outside yourself? Or maybe the feelings are mixed.

I’ve found that what makes life worth living, for me at least, boils down to two things:

Being with people or pets that I have a strong heart connection with (for me this is a very small circle), and doing things that my heart loves to do. I always know what my heart loves because those are the things that give me energy, uplift me, and excite me. What drains me and depletes me has nothing to do with my heart.

In this urban reality of high rent, high food costs, and expensive healthcare, sometimes we must do what drains and depletes us temporarily, at least until we can make the transition to live more in line with what our hearts ache for. And F. and I are in that boat together right now…temporarily doing what drains and depletes us, in the form of our rat-race jobs, in favor of earning and saving money so that we may then buy land for homesteading and living a more heart-centered, self-sufficient existence.

What makes the situation trickier is that “in this economy” (are you as tired of that expression as I am?) we feel lucky to have jobs. It’s hard to think of quitting glittering-good jobs that provide steady income, health insurance, and paid vacation. It’s also hard to think of staying at these jobs because of the way they drain every last ounce of our energy…and how we come home angry and stressed from the day, too tired to even do the footwork involved with transitioning into a life closer to the land. Those same impressive jobs that decorate our resumes are precisely what’s preventing us from doing what’s most important in the whole entire world — devoting time to who we love and what we love.

It’s hard to know what to do. It’s hard to know when it’s the right time to give your two weeks’ notice and go for your dreams, especially when there are some very practical considerations to be made like rent, food, and health insurance. The health insurance, especially right now for me, is important. And I’m so not into western medicine or health insurance…but that’s a whole other topic. I’m very split — appreciating my insurance, benefits, and steady income…while at the same time aching like never before for some land and a slower, quieter, more soulful life. I don’t know the answer, so I’m waiting as patiently as I can until things become clearer.

Are you in a transition like this too? Is it as hard for you as it is for me?!

Normally I’m really good about staying away from junk food. I would rather go hungry than eat fast food, I almost never buy prepackaged crackers or chips or cookies, and even though sugar is my weak spot, I try to make it unrefined sugar as often as possible. And when I’m at a party or function and there’s junk food, I don’t go crazy. (Wait, maybe that’s because I don’t really go to parties or functions. Huh.)

Even still…I’m all about health and nourishing food, but sometimes I just crave a good ole rotten bag of Lay’s Potato Chips. That’s right mate: salt-coated highly refined vegetable oil with some potato slices thrown in for crunch. I never buy them normally; that’s a lot of calories for zero nutrition.

And yet today, the siren song of that yellow bag drowned out all my reasons to not eat them. The bag sat there in the vending machine, only a thin pane of glass and a dollar bill between me and it. I stood there a while, debating.

And then I bought it.

And ate the whole frickin’ bag.

And they were worth   E  V  E  R  Y      S   I   N   G   L   E         C    A    L    O     R      I       E.

With junk, don’t give in very often. But sometimes…very rarely so that it’s a real treat when you do…GIVE IN.